The Midnight News 8.08.01
Posted By Hyatte on 08.08.01
Numbers, Hyatte Speaks, Arm Yourselves, Rey and Juvee, MECW, Bob Rants, Honky Shoots, and Big Daddy Cool chills.
Episode Two: The Attack of the Clones?
I don't know...
BUT... one must never question the great George Lucas, it's his universe and we're all just lucky enough to have access to it once in a great while.
Okay, time to do the news.
HYATTE ON HYATTE
Since I know you all LOVE to hear me be a little mark for myself, you can check out an interview I did at:
Broken Crate.com. The same guy did an interview with Scott Keith a few weeks back... I didn't know this at the time. I'm sure I came across as a dickhead, but I think I did okay
I say the F-word a few times. We talked about the three sites I've worked for, Scott Keith, CRZ, bad writers, the Mop-Up, AAT, Honky, Queen... lots of stuff.
At one point, it DOES look like I was being a snobby a-hole when I said, "You didn't do much prep work for this, did you?" I SWEAR TO CHRIST, I didn't mean it like it came out... I just meant that his questions seemed to jump all over the place... it felt more like a conversation than a Q&A...which; is cool... but since we set up the Interview in just about an hour, I was wondering if how ready he was... that's it.
Ugh... I feel like a total loser TOOL now.
FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I'M FREE AT LAST
A little non-wrestling news for ya'...
If you have a gun, oil it and load it. F-it, file off the safety too.
If you DON'T have a gun, get one and repeat the steps above.
Why? Because Marion "Suge" Knight is now a free man....
Run for your lives.... Suge don't like white people.
Snoop Dogg should be crapping in his pants... he's the one who said on MTV "Yeah, well Suge used to be a Record Company President and now he's just a convict!" Then chucked the middle finger at the camera. (he was responding to Knight saying, "Snoop used to be a death Row Superstar, no he's just a No Limit Soldier")
Gangsta Rap just got a hell of a lot more interesting.
Thanks to Greg Dillard... my official once-in-a-blue-moon-I'll-give-you-non-wrestling-news guy for this.
WHO WATCHED THIS CRAP??
Not as many as last week. Raw drew a 5.4 rating for the night. Last week, they drew a 5.7.
Interesting, neither Scherer, nor Meltzer, nor Keller bothered to put up the quarter hour reports... or even the two hour breakdown... THEY ALL POSTED THE EXACT SAME INFO!!!!!! NO BREAKDOWNS OF ANY KIND!!!
SO MUCH FOR YOUR HEROES, HUH!!! WHO IS THE BIG CHEESE ON THE NET NOW????
Well, it USED to be Mike Samuda... but he died
By the way, Scherer noted that everyone in the WWF knew that Monday's show sucked. I'm sure Vince gave quite a few of the non-Stephanie writers an earful.
FREE RASSLIN'!!!!
This is a story that uses comments from TWO SITES!!! You know you love it!
RF Video cheerfully reports that the MECW show at the ECW Arena in South Philly on Saturday will now be FREE for all who come. Just show up and you're in! RF was even good enough to provide directions to get to the building.
Now, The Observer added that it's FREE because no one was lining up at the ticket window to pay the measly $20 price. Since the show is for TV tapings... they NEED SOME semblance of a sell-out. So it's FREE.
It should be noted, RF Video WORKS for MECW. Oh, they admit to doing so... so there is no tomfoolery... but you can see why RF didn't discuss WHY it's free for all now.
REY REY AND THE JEWS
While they were in California for the big TV tapings, Jim Ross sat down with Rey Misterio Jr to see if they can maybe get together and sign a contract.
Misterio brought Juventud Guerrera with him... Juvee wants to work there too.
The Torch thinks that maybe enough time has passed since Juventud's drug incident in WCW and maybe he should get a chance there.
I say, do it... if only for Juvee to interrupt a Rock promo by saying, "Finaleee, the Jewz, has gom BAK...", then Rocky could put a hand up and ask, " Who in the blue hell, are YOU??"... that would be funny.
Ahh... I am in desperate need of a life.
RYDER ON MECW
To those who thought that Bob Ryder would be the first to offer his services in support of the new MECW group.... well, you are sorely mistaken.
Bob doesn't trash it, but he does wonder just how much of a chance this thing has. He states that other than a couple of phone calls from the Sandman, who was just looking for some phone numbers, he has had no contact with ANYONE associated with the group.
Bob hates it when anyone steals from his site... but here is the Reader's Digest version of his commentary:
The latest "next big thing" is MECW.
If you believe all the hype, somebody is willing to throw a lot of money into a promotion that appears to have virtually no chance of succeeding.
There are so many problems that there's no way it could be dealt with in one column.
The biggest problem is money. On the surface, it appears the company is flush with money. At least that's what they tell people. They've spent thousands of dollars on first class tickets, and make claims of having millions of dollars at their disposal...but at the same time (in at least one case I've been told of by someone familiar with the situation) a check as small as $300 won't clear. If the company has that kind of backing...a $300 check should breeze through with no problem.
An equally big problem is the total lack of any organization. From a business standpoint, it's essential to operate a company like a business from the very start of the operation. That means you don't announce that you have a deal with a cable station unless you really do. You don't announce that talent is going to be at a show unless you have contracted with them to be there. You don't announce a show and then find yourself being forced to give hundreds of tickets away for free because you didn't do a good job of promoting the show to begin with.
Running a split national company, with "A & B" squads, is one of the craziest ideas I have ever heard for a startup. When you figure in the added expense needed to run two touring groups, it's an absolutely ridiculous idea and should be dropped immediately.
IF this company is going to succeed, they need to make some dramatic changes immediately. The very next move they should make is to hire someone to run their company that has a business background, and who has an understanding of the wrestling business. If they really do have the kind of financial backing they say they do, they need someone smart enough to protect the money so it's not spent foolishly.
I don't know if they can make it. I have very serious doubts.
I know you all despise him, but he makes good points.
Speaking of which...
SIX DEGREES OF RYDER FAKIN
Will be posted tomorrow... but I want to make one thing clear...
See, I've been getting a whole LOT of e-mails from different people with MORE "Six Degrees of Ryder Fakin" samples.
STOP IT!! There is only ONE guy who gets to do it... the guy who STARTED the trend. He's my man Flea... and only FLEA will author ANY "Ryder Fakin" examples that I will post. Flea is the man... Flea is the ONLY man I pay attention to here.
If you REALLY want to do something, find another subject... NOT BOB RYDER... that's covered.
For Chrissakes... be original for once.
SWEATING TO THE OLDIES.... FROM HELL!!!!!!!
RF Video reports that Kane is actually very popular with the locker room boys when it comes to giving advice on physical fitness. Seems that they go to him for news on how to get a nice ripped look and jack up their bench press.
RF also sniffed about why this would be newsworthy... hey dude, NEVER underestimate trivial nonsense.... it's TOTALLY what's kept me successful after killing the Mop-Up.
MONGO MADNESS
1bob reports that Steve "Mongo" McMichael was sighted at a Cubs/Rockies game last night. He was the "Conductor" for the evening, which meant Mongo led the crowd in a rendition of "Take me Out To The Ballgame"
Unfortunately, the crowd was still miffed at a questionable call made by the Home Plate Umpire, so they were booing.
Mongo, told the crowd not to worry, that HE will have a private conversation with the Umpire after the game.
Well, the Ump got a little nervous and had Mongo thrown OUT by security, marking the first time ever a "conductor" was ejected from a game.
Now, something 1bob DIDN'T report... a reader e-mailed me and said that Mongo looked to have gained AT LEAST 100 pounds.
I love my readers.
EVERYBODY GET DOWN, SOMEONE'S SHOOTING!
See, in order for the MidNews to be unique, I have to grab info from everywhere I can.
So, I was on AIM, talking to a guy named PacketStuffer (*sigh) and he told me that he had a copy of RF Video's shoot video with the Honky Tonk Man. He then proceeded to run down some of the things HTM said on the tape.
Now, RF wants to get paid, muthaf**ka, so I won't recap EVERYTHING, but I will post some cool 80's WWF stuff that Honky talked about... real fun inside dope that everyone will like.
-Remember during the big Austin/McMahon feud when Vince stole Austin’s belt and screamed, "Dammit Austin, if you want this belt it'll be over my mantel place if your man enough come and get it!"? Well, that was taken directly from something Honky told Vince when he refused to job the IC title over to Randy Savage. See, Vince told HTM that after he drops the belt to Savage, the Honky Tonk Man will disappear forever, then come back in re-packaged form. Honky freaked out, took the IC belt home to Memphis, called Vince and said that the belt was on his mantel place and the only way to get it is to be a man and come after it.
-He said that it took Kerry Von Erich two hours to cut one promo. PacketStuffer (ugh) didn't tell me why.
-Said that Rick Rude came up with the name "Rhythm & Blues"
-Said that Hulk Hogan used to sleep on Honky's apartment floor during the early days.
-Honky ran to Canada for a while to avoid being called to testify at the McMahon Steroid Trial.
-After Honky sold out in Memphis Jerry Lawler gave him a check and went "here ya go your first one thousand dollar check" However the check was only for 999.99 so Honky told him that and said he wanted an extra dollar and Lawler yelled at him for being ungrateful
(Man, that's too funny)
-In the 80's, a main event at Madison Square Garden against Hulk Hogan paid $8'000. You got $6 grand if you main evented against Hogan in another arena. Guys who curtain jerked in the opening match were usually paid only $300.
-In 1989, the Big Bossman made a killing because he feuded with Hogan all year.
-HTM was paid 7 grand for fighting the Ultimate Warrior at SummerSlam, but also got a bonus.
-Dr. D, David Schultz actually came up with the idea for Wrestlemania two years before the first event in a bar with Hogan and HTM. Hogan was the one who suggested the name to Vince and took the credit. Dr. D was crushed.
-Says that Jerry Lawler's nickname in Memphis is "Chester the Molester", because of his obsession with young girls.
-Says that he once saw Lawler tell a WWF Official, in front of the whole locker room, to fine Brian Christopher for being late. Says that Lawler has always been a "heartless bastard".
-Says that Billy Gunn became "Rock-A-Billy" because he refused to do jobs.
-Says that the Ultimate Warrior was a nightmare to wrestle. Everyone hated working with him because he was so stiff.
-Says that Andre the Giant didn't like Jake Roberts, so during their feud, Andre would step on Jake's hair, then start pulling him up.
-Says that the Undertaker was the first wrestler to have someone in the company do his makeup and wardrobe. Before him, everyone did it themselves.
-Everyone at first thought the Undertaker was a joke and that he would be gone in 6 months.
-When he was in the WWF, Dusty Rhodes told the mid-carders that he would help them defect to Turner in 1991 and do an invasion deal. When Rhodes got back to WCW he never returned their calls. Honky called Dusty a "fat bag of sh*t"
-Says that Vince and Hogan were so afraid that Dr. D would come back and whip their asses that Vince had bodyguards and beefed up security.
-Says that Vince was once so afraid of Bad News brown that he locked himself in a bathroom to avoid him. Apparently, Bad News was stiffed on a check and was looking to kick some McAss.
That's it. Great stuff... I LOVE this crap.
You can thank PacketStuffer (oy) for this.
BUT, PLUGS
Let's see what we have for today...
Ah, Craig Letawsky brings on the info with another senses staggering edition of
Ask 411. Craig knows EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW about pro graps and is only TOO happy to astound you with his knowledge. And if he DOESN'T know the answer... ooops, bye bye e-mail... right to the delete file with yo' candy ass!
Another one of life's great ironies... Ron Gamble, writer of a brand new
World According To Ron has actually never placed a bet in his LIFE. True.
But Ron does write... and this week he examines ANOTHER "Invasion" angle from a few years back. It happened on WCW television... no, it's not THAT angle... Ron also talks about MECW and asks the readers to have fun answering storyline questions that those WWF bastards just do not address. More column for your buck! That is, if you actually PAID for this.
Honky was represented strongly tonight, so how's about we check out a RARE online appearance from the King of the corner knee lift...
YOU KNOW FIRST OFF LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
It's a rare thing to have Kevin Nash grace us mark boys with his Internet presence.
Well, he has posted a lengthy little article on his site today. Just going over his current life and what's going on. I deleted some comments he made about hanging with his son and his family... you can go there yourself and yawn away, if you want. Over here, I posted some comments he made about his contract, going to Japan, and some ass kissing on Vince McMahon, just for good measure:
Here are his immediate plans for the new year:
I've got until January 1, 2002, on my contract with what was once WCW, and is now known as the Universal Wrestling Corporation. So, I will be paid until December 31, 2001. Then, at 12:01 a.m. on New Year’s Day, I become a free agent. Yippee! As of right now, the plan is for Scott and I to work the Tokyo Dome show for New Japan Pro Wrestling on January 4, 2002 … and then go from there. There have been some talks about an overseas tour to Australia after that. I’m gonna see if I can obtain the rights to The Outsiders matches in Japan, so everyone can see - through my Website - how we’re doing since we won’t be on TV in the U.S.
I’m so excited to be getting back in the ring with Scott. There’s never been a time when, right before that curtain opened, that I haven’t seen Scott smiling and hear him say, ‘Let’s rock it, Big Man.’ I’m really looking forward to being an Outsider again.
Okay... I hope someone tells him that pretty much no one will be ABLE to watch his Outsider matches on the web... unless he just said it to be cool, as he is wont to do sometimes.
Here's Kevin telling the world that he CAN hang with the WWF young'ns, and giving some love to "the boys":
My body feels great. The stress involved with being a professional wrestler is incredible, and I’m not enduring that right now, which is good. I look at the faces of some of the younger guys that are in New York, working for the WWF … then I look at my face, and I think, ‘Gosh, these guys look 10 years older than me facially and, in reality, they are 10 years younger than me.’ I’ve got to give kudos to Steve Austin. I haven’t watched a whole lot of wrestling since I’ve been off, but I think Austin and Kurt Angle have really carried the show in The Rock and Triple H’s absence. You’ve got to give Steve Austin credit more than anyone in the business right now because Steve has basically re-created himself. He’s taken a character that was one-way and completely turned it around. You could see that he could act during his appearance on Nash Bridges, now definitely too. There are so many brilliant performers who are professional wrestlers, and often we a get bad stereotype from Hollywood executives. But wrestlers are golden. The Rock is golden. Triple-H is golden. They are among the guys who will do things in the entertainment business long after they retire from wrestling. And Kurt Angle probably, too; I think he’s a very funny guy.
Of course, a wrestler cannot end his column without a LITTLE sucking up to Vince:
I want to thank Vince McMahon. In fact, my son and I both thank you very much for a paid vacation. Thank you very much for buying WCW - and letting me have a complete summer with my son, to see him every day. I really appreciate it. Guess I owe you one, Vinnie-Mac.
But there's MORE. Nash popped in his Sgt Peppers CD and was inspired to give HIS version of A Day In The Life:
As far as my personal life, here’s a look at my typical day:
Alarm goes off at 12. I’m still keeping my practice of waking up at the crack of noon. Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, a couple of 16-ounce mugs before taking my Hydroxicut.
I try to ride my stationary bicycle first thing in the morning.
Shower.
My training partner is Disco Inferno, and we usually workout from 1-3 p.m. If I don’t do cardio at home, I do it at the gym with Glenn.
After working out, I drive 23 miles north of city and spend the rest of the day with my son till it’s time for him to go to bed. We play video games, go to the arcade, play Army-men, watch TV, or just do whatever. "T" usually spends 2 nights/week at my loft. I don’t watch much TV, but the only can’t-miss show these days is, Six Feet Under. That’s my show, the show I watch every week. I also watch ESPN SportsCenter nightly, usually the 2 a.m. edition.
I go to bed at 4 a.m. That’s basically what I do - day in, day out.
I'm sure he makes time to bang down some sluts... but we don't need to know EVERYTHING
Speaking of sluts, ol' Horny Kev wraps up with an open call:
I’m gonna do some pictures with a friend of mine in Atlanta that will be available exclusively on my Website. And let’s just say, they’ll be risqué photos. So, that said, everyone will know that I have been training hard. In fact, I look better than I have in 10 years, if I may say so myself. The money from these signed photos will go to The Tristen Nash Scholarship Fund, which means the money will help put my son through college.
Yes... he's a wannabe Wrestling Vixxxen.
Notice, NONE of the proceeds will go to that $20,000 note he promised to pay the Pillman family.... one that never made it out of his bank account?
Ahh, I still have a soft spot for Big Sexy.... no one can rile up a locker room better than HE can.
God Bless the Big Prick.
Three down, two to go... I'm just ROLLIN' this week!!
I can't wait for any Smackdown spoilers anymore... I have to go to bed.
This is Hyatte